Today has been good. I haven't had the shakes today which I've felt pretty pleased with. I don't know what caused them - anxiety, the medication or caffeine. I didn't feel anxious, I'm still taking my medication and my caffeine intact has been reduced drastically. Herbal teas are your friend!
I've also had a day of whirlwind socialising. I met a friend for lunch, had an unexpected meeting with another friend and went for coffee and after that met a third friend for a quick beer before they caught a train. When I say beer I mean Becks Blue. I got really fed up of drinking lemonade in the pub. I like the taste of beer, not the getting drunk. Then i remembered non-alcoholic stuff. Becks Blue isn't too bad once you get used to it. It certainly makes being tee total a damn sight easier!
Tonight I am just going to take it easy and try and polish of another 100 pages or so of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest, which I am really enjoying.
Things feel good in my head. I just that at some point I'm going to come down. There is this feeling of inevitability that eventually the black fog will come back. Its like my head gets wrapped up in the cotton wool of misery and I lose interest in everything. I notice this with my figure painting. If I am in a good place I can paint for hours, however if things are not so rosy I really struggle to do one figure. Then there are the times when I really don't want to leave the house, when its an effort to actually get up. Going back to work has helped here. It's given me a reason to get up. I'm not one for normally lying in bed until 12.00pm but the last time I was off work I was finding that I was staying in bed longer and longer. I may have made a cup of tea and just been reading but I was still staying in bed. That is not like me. I am very much a morning person.
Hmm...this post kind of went off in a direction I wasn't expecting. It does feel quite therapeutic writing this sort of stuff down. As I said to somebody today writing down the crap that's in my head onto paper (of a sort) kind of gets rid of it. It also gives me cause to reflect on the day just gone or assess the day about to occur.
Anyway, this Steig Larsson book wont read itself!
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